The Gateway Squares Blog

BOO! Halloween Dance Sat 10/25

2008-10-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

It's the annual tradition! Costumes! Food! Out-of-Town Caller!

Potluck dinner at 6:30, dancing at 7:30 at Trinity Prez, 6800 Washington Ave in UCity!

This year's returning caller (kinda like getting two for the price of one):

Howard Richman, aka Lady DiaMel

Hope to See Lots of SCAAARY Squares!

Gateway Squares in the Nooz! Fri Oct 3

2008-10-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

Check out today's Post-Dispatch (Metro Section) for an article all about us!

Here's a direct link to the online version, or the full address, and here's the multimedia companion piece, narrated by our very own Brian V.

Interested readers are just in time to get on board the new lessons train, Monday, October 6th, from 7 to 9 pm at Heman Park Community Center in UCity.

Go 'Squares!

2008 Beginners Lessons! Mondays @ 7pm

2008-08-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

The Time is Now!

Beginners' lessons start on Monday, October 6th, at Heman Park Community Center in UCity, 975 Pennsylvania Avenue, from 7 to 9 pm!

Here are directions!

Everyone is invited to either or both of these free lessons -- get to know us and try out a few steps!

Square Dancing?! You've Got to Be Joking!

The Gateway Squares are a diverse bunch. We have as many women and men, as white-collar and blue-collar ... people who flocked to square dancing and people who got dragged into it kicking and screaming.

I was definitely in the second group. It took a team of no fewer than five people -- Brian, Trevor, Curtis, Mike, and Bill -- to wear me down. And it took them months. Square dancing?? Please! Even after the first lesson, I only agreed grudgingly to the second.

But then everything changed. I had a chance at a recent demonstration we did to talk about how, and a couple of people asked me to post the story.

Here it is, with the hope that it inspires you to give us a try -- and bring friends!

How I Got Dragged Into Square Dancing ... and Stayed

I went to my first square dancing lesson mostly to get my husband, Brian, off my case. And it started out awful. Truly awful. I couldn't keep my left and my right straight, couldn't make the leap between what I was seeing and what I was doing.

But then, during a break, I took in the other people in the room, students and established dancers alike. There were as many women as men, as many younger people as older people. There were doctors and carpenters, teachers and electricians, social workers and corporate lawyers.

In short, a lot of people had jumped over a lot of walls to be there that evening. Community outreach workers and political organizers toil for months just to convene groups half as diverse.

Deer Frozen in Headlights

Besides being gay, the only common thing we started out with was a commitment to learn something that might turn out to be fun. And after the first lesson, we added to that a set of humbling experiences. Holding hands with strangers. Going right when the caller clearly said left. Taking one wrong step that gummed up the graceful moves of seven other people.

If our class had been a Native American tribe, my name would have been "Deer Frozen in Headlights." But over the next few weeks, I started getting the moves in spite of myself. It took me a while to figure out why, and when I did, I realized that of course, it was so simple.

All I had to do was let go.

This was staggering! Imagine living most of your life as a self-styled thinker and then suddenly, accidentally stumbling across something that works better the less you think about it.

Learning to Dance ... and to Let Go

Change happens when people let go of fear. Change happens when people come together who would otherwise never find their way to each other. Change happens when people turn their minds to what is in front of them, not behind them.

This is what the Gateway Squares make happen every time we dance, but most of the time, we’re having too much fun to realize it.

You see, square dancing is organized around local clubs that are supposed to meet up regularly and dance with each other. These clubs have a few simple rules. (1) You never turn anyone away from a square, no matter how much you might want to, and (2) you never leave a square until the dance is over and you have traded handshakes and thank-you’s with everyone in it.

The St. Louis area is home to a few dozen square dancing clubs – of the non-gay variety, to be clear – that are mostly in the suburbs and outer suburbs. Many have been in existence since the 1940’s or 50’s, and as the average age of their members has increased year after year, clubs have started folding. The people who remain are by and large over sixty and by and large not accustomed to change.

When the Gateway Squares started dancing in late 2003, they were the first new square dancing club in over three decades. The question was, would this gay club join the larger community or keep safely to themselves? If they tried to join the community, would they be accepted or thrown out on their ears?

The founding members of the club decided to give it a try, which in the context of that season was an act of great courage. Even the most ultra-out among them, as comfortable in their own skins as anyone could be, arrived at their first dance with butterflies in their stomachs and not the slightest idea of what would happen.

What happened is that everyone put the dancing first and left the politics for later. They put their one shared truth first and momentarily overlooked their differences. The gay people put their courage just inches ahead of their fear of rejection, and the straight people put their faith in community just inches ahead their own visible discomfort. Two worlds collided ... and then the dancing started.

For almost four years now, the Gateway Squares have squared up with people who have been dancing in the same clubs for two, three, sometimes four or five decades. We have danced with clubs whose by-laws state that women must wear frilly dresses of a certain length, whose members are pillars of their communities and have lived up to every expectation of a culture consumed with fear about gender and sexuality.

And then we show up.

We trample across the gender divide, laughing every step of the way, but just to be helpful about it, we put on tags that read "I DANCE THE GIRL’S PART" or "I DANCE THE MAN’S PART."

At the beginning of each evening, the two groups, gay and straight, usually stand at opposite ends of the room, eyeing each other warily and trying to act casual at the same time. Then the dancing starts, and there's not enough time for people to judge each other.

At a dance in Florissant, one of our number found herself standing alone as a dance was about to get started. A leader of the hosting club, her back hunched with sheer age, walked up to her, squinted at her name tag, and said, "Oh, you're one of the gay ones! Here, go dance with my husband."

Another member of our club, a big, burly, bearded man who happened to be dancing the girl’s part one night found himself alone in a square filled with straight people. The big, burly, bearded man who wound up standing to his left regarded him, looked him up and down and said, "I sure hope you like getting twirled!"

These stories have left many of us flummoxed. Our fear of rejection at the hands of the straight world has been dealt a serious blow. People we half-thought would throw us out of their dances have shaken our hands and thanked us for our presence. Some have even been stronger advocates for us that we might have been for ourselves.

We’ve been left to wonder, how many of the walls that separate us from the straight world are of our own making? If our identities are built around early memories of rejection and differentness, who would we be if those things fell away?

Now, I don’t want to leave you thinking that all is sweetness and light. On both sides, our community dances see as much squirming and shuffling, as many false starts and looks of blank incomprehension as we have moments of light and understanding.

Building Bridges ...

A few years ago, the Gateway Squares decided that no matter how well we get along with the straights, a lot of us just don’t feel at ease enough to let our hair down the way we need to. We like to put a lot of flair and athleticism into our moves, which does not always sit well with the sensibilities and arthritic joints of the clubs we dance with. So in addition to the dances we have with other clubs, we also have a monthly members-only dance.

Maybe this is a retreat from the idea of bridge building.

Maybe it’s an acknowledgment that from time to time, even bridge builders need to be with people who understand them without having to try.

Here’s what is certain. Here’s what we know. For those of us who crossed the line we thought could not be crossed, nothing looks the same. Even if we go back inside our walls for a time, we know the world outside them better than we did before. And it knows us better.

And it all started with small acts of letting go.

Hello September! Community Dance, Club Dance, Last Summer Workshop, Start of Lessons!

2008-08-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

September is almost upon us! Lots of big happenings gearing up.

Tuesday Sept 2
Gateway Squares Community Dance with Caller Bo Semith, 7:30 at Heman

Monday Sept 8:
Last of Aaron's summer workshops at Immanuel Congregational UCC on Jamieson

Tuesday Sept 9:
Start of Advanced lessons with Aaron, 7:15pm at the Olivette Community Center, 9723 Grandview.

Are you ready for Advanced? You are if you've angeled at lessons for at least one September-May season, dancing the role you learned when you went through lessons yourself, and are proficient in that role.

Sunday, 9/21:
Monthly Club Dance at 4:00pm at Immanuel UCC on Jamieson

Monday, 9/22:
All Angels On Deck! Start of 2008-2009 Basic/Mainstream/Plus Lessons!

About a week ago, an ad for September lessons went into the print version of The Vital Voice. An oversight by a Publicity team member (who shall remain nameless) led to lastyear's ad being run. As a result, there may be some totally bogus September dates floating out there. Please rest assured – and assure anyone who asks – that there are only two Mondays in September for intro lessons, 9/22 and 9/29.

Intro to Advanced! Monday Aug 11 @ 7 PM

2008-08-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

You've mastered Spin Chain the Gears. Relay the Ducey doesn't give you the cold sweats anymore ... You were seen yawning during a Coordinate!

Are you ready to take square dancing to the next level?

INTRODUCTORY ADVANCED LESSON!

Monday, August 11 @ 7pm, Immanuel Congregational UCC @ Jamieson

Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Advanced Square Dancing but Were Afraid to Ask

This is your chance to sample a few moves from the Advanced book, with our own Aaron Wells as your plucky tour guide.

But how do I know I'm ready?

You're ready to try Advanced lessons if you've angeled at lessons for at least one September-May season, dancing the role you learned when you went through lessons yourself, and are proficient in that role.

You can even see the moves acted out by happy little geometric shapes! Just click here...

Or you could watch these people, courtesy of YouTube, who probably never dreamed they'd become ambassadors of Advanced to some gay club thousands of miles away...

Questions? Concerns? Ask any of our Advanced dancers! Rob, Doug S, Tom M, Trevor, Curtis, Martha, Sandra, Ruud, Doug T, Aaron, Mike S, Cindy, Elsbeth

Monday Workshopping! Grease Up Your Mainstream/Plus!

2008-07-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Does Spin Chain the Gears drive you to tears? Or is it called Spin Chain Exchange the ... well, whatever Mainstream/Plus move it is, Mondays are you chance to polish up this Summer!

Monday Workshops
7:00 to 9:00 pm

UPDATE!

Because of Immanuel's air conditioning difficulties with Immanuel on Jamieson, the venue for Monday, July 28 is now...

Trinity Episcopal @ 600 North Euclid Ave in the CWE.

1 block south of Delmar. Use the parking lot off Euclid Avenue!

<-- With you-know-who...

Sat July 19 @ 7:30! The 2nd Annual Hawaiian Luau Dance

2008-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

July 19, 2008, Saturday, Second Annual Hawaiian Luau Joint Dance Presented by Gateway Squares And Singles & Doubles

Caller: Kevin Oneslager from Lawrence, Kansas, frequent caller for our sister club in KC, the Show-Me Squares. Cuers: The Tevlins, 7:30 PM

Webster Groves Christian Church, 1320 Lockwood Avenue, Webster Groves, Missouri,

*Apologies to any and all Hawaiians. Any resemblance between individuals depicted here and any actual square dancers, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Presenting Her Royal Highness, Iona Dubblewide, IAGSDC Honky Tonk Queen 2008

2008-07-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, the Gateway Squares' own Aaron Wells, competing as Iona Dubblewide -- ambitious biker babe from the wrong side of the tracks -- is now the 2008 Honky Tonk Queen of the International Association of Gay Square Dancing Clubs.

Wig. Boots. Blow-Up Doll. Half a dozen half-naked, writhing men. All brought together in under eight minutes to the tune of Tammy Winnette's immortal Stand By Your Man.

Congratulations, Aaron! Click on the image below to watch the event in all its glory.

We Love Our Volunteers!

2008-07-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say ...

... to all the Club members whose help made 2008's Pridefest and Federation Picnic a success!

Below is a short clip showing our Pride Parade dancers & walkers in all their glory!

Graduation Dance 2008! Mark Your Calendar for Saturday May 17!

2008-04-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

Lessons are such a big investment of time, talent, and treasure that it's important to make a big splash each time a new class enters the fold.

To honor the occasion, there's a Gateway Squares tradition (like, three years or something!) of bringing in an out-of-town caller to help usher in a graduating class.

This year, we've got Andy Shore, who'll be riding his impressive handlebar mustache all the way from South Florida to help ring in the class of 2008!

So mark your calendars, 'Squares!

Saturday, May 17th @ Trinity Presbyterian in UCity (map)

Potluck 6:30 ~ Dancing 7:30

The Week After Arch & Dive Thru

2008-04-06T15:55:00.001-07:00

It's not easy to believe it's been a week since the last tip of Arch & Dive Thru 2008!

It's also not easy to come up with words to talk about it. A gay fly-in is more than just a bunch of tips strung together into morning-afternoon-evening chunks.

It's like a family reunion, a convention, a religious revival, a pride festival -- all rolled up and glued together by do-sa-dos.

Cutting Through

Getting any kind of big event off the ground gives everyone plenty of things about which to get cranky. Feelings get thick and strong and difficult to get around. But nothing cuts through all of that like square dancing, does it?

At every fly-in I've been to -- and this was no exception -- there's a m

oment when I sort of wake up and realize where I am. And it hits me with such clarity that I'd start crying if I didn't have to listen for the next call.

I'm surrounded by friends, people who understand me without having to work at it, who accept me no matter how much I screw up, and people I might not have let myself get close to if I hadn't had the dancing to cut through all my stupid hang-ups.

It's easy to find a word for that. Family.

Our Big Fat Gay Success Story

From what I've been hearing from the committee members who have had a look at the feedback we got, Arch and Dive Thru 2008 was a big fat gay success story with icing on top -- setting aside our unfortunate brush with grand larceny.

We got especially high marks on our hospitality, and it's hard to make too big a deal of how important that is. The floor time and the callers draw our out-of-town friends, but it's our hospitality and fellowship that will keep them coming back and bringing more dancers with them.

We owe a big debt of gratitude to the committee members for their huge investment of time, energy, patience, and sheer love-labor.

Here's looking forward to 2010!

Arch & Dive Thru 2008: The Event of the Century Is Just Weeks Away

2008-03-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

T Minus 22 Days and Counting!

Can you believe the Fly-In is almost upon us? Three weeks from tomorrow!

I remember Arch & Dive Thru 2006 as breakthrough of a kind, where I realized that square dancing was not just a leisure activity but a brush with grace. Magical, in a word.

This time, we're only about the most famous club in the universe, so we're three weeks and one day away from something pretty extraordinary...

With our dozens of fun-loving out-of-towners come lots of volunteer opportunities.

Food is first among them! We're throwing a potluck dinner for about, oh, 100 hungry people on Saturday, March 29th.

What We Need:

Salads
Casseroles
Vegetarian Casseroles
Desserts
Vegetables

E-mail or call Cheryl to put your yummy dish on the menu!

The Schedule

Here's a version of our schedule, suitable for insertion into front pockets, back pockets, and bra cups:

Download here or view below:

In Loving Memory

2008-02-16T08:01:00.001-08:00

We'll miss you, Colleen...

Memorials can be sent to:
St. Cronan Food Pantry or NaNa's house
PO Box 18656
St. Louis MO 63118

2008 Sweetheart Dance | Sunday, Feb 10, 2-5 pm!

2008-01-19T02:39:00.000-08:00

One of the larger St. Louis square dancing community's traditions is the annual Sweetheart Dance, now in its 38th year.

Here's the official page!

And here's the location, Sperreng Middle School at 1211 Tesson Ferry Road.

The Sweetheart Dance has become kind of a rite of passage for the Gateway Squares. It's the first big community dance a lot of us go to as students fresh out of Mainstream.

I remember the Sweetheart Dance as one of the first moments when I felt the CLICK, when I started to say to myself, Yeah. I think I'm getting this.

It was a first encounter with 'the straights,' and as I was dancing the girl's part, I bet it was the first time a lot of the men there had grabbed a gay guy around the waist.

Like a lot of students, I half-thought that the business of going out into the community was a little improbable, bound to end in awkward moments. There's always a little of that, but then the magic of dancing takes over, and most of us end up having too much fun to remember the hang-ups and stereotypes we bring with us.

So let's meet up at the 2008 Sweetheart Dance! Sunday, February 10, from 2 to 5 pm.

Michael

The 2008 Publicity Video: World Premiere!

2007-12-27T01:45:00.000-08:00

After months of filming, editing, and splicing, I've finally finished our updated publicity video, now on YouTube for all the world to see!

You Can Help Spread the Word!

If you're a YouTube regular, log in, give the clip a high rating, and add it to your favorites!
Send the video to your friends and encourage them to do the same. You can share directly from the YouTube page or by sending this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puCj8mMRmPg

Enjoy!

With thanks to everyone for the interviews and permissions,
Michael

Updates Updates!

2007-12-19T04:07:00.000-08:00

R&R You Ready? Raiding and Retriving: January Dates Coming Your Way!

Raiding and retrieving came up at the first full meeting of the new Board earlier this month, and here's the poop:
The Board is agreed that R&R is really, really important at the same time we realize it's a tough sell sometimes.

It's important as a source of many and varied dancing opportunities. It's important as a vehicle of change, taking us one rather large step towards a world where people see GLBT Americans as equals. It's glue that keeps us in a community that knows a LOT about keeping square dancing clubs going ... and what leads them into decline.

Without raiding and retrieving, we lose friends, we lose perspective, and we lose financial support that our club might one day depend on.

But let's also be honest -- it's more fun when enough of us go in on it together! To that end, Cheryl and I are working on narrowing down January raiding and retrieving opportunities to at most two targets and recruiting a core group to shoot for them! We'll be looking at weekday evenings throughout the month, steering clear of our special dances and the Hotlanta fly-in. Don't be shy about shooting either of us a line to declare yourself R&R-Ready!

Federation Picnic June '08: Sign Up Now! And Don't Throw Any of Those Unwanted Presents Away!

Every year in early June, the St. Louis Federation of Square Dancing Clubs holds a picnic at a park in Overland. Hundreds of people, hundreds of pieces of grilled meat, hours and hours of dancing.

The Gateway Squares were invited to host this time on June 1, 2008, and the outgoing Board accepted. We'll be forming a committee and starting prep work in January, so now's your chance to sign up! Larry, Doug S, and Sandra have already graciously agreed to help out, but we'll eventually need a task force of 10-15. This is your invitation to step forward!

Raffles and bingo games are part of the event, for which we'll need lots of prizes. So please don't throw anything away after all the holiday presents are unwrapped! I'm serious! Keep all the misfit kitchen gadgets, clunky napkin holders, and bizarre glass ornaments. One person's dreck is another person's treasure!

A Guide to Gateway Squares Slang

2007-12-15T04:39:00.000-08:00

The Class of 2008 is coming along nicely, about to break out of Mainstream in the New Year and get into Plus, coming up to their first-ever Fly-In in March!

To help welcome this year's class into the family, the Board thought it would be a good idea for students to have a dictionary of our most frequent slang words. And here it is!

Terms: Fly-In ~ Community Dance ~ Club Dance ~ Special Dance

Basic, Mainstream, Plus, Advanced ~ Styling ~ Patter, Singing Call, Tip

Fly-In		This term is particular to the Gay square dancing world. It means an all-day or weekend-long dancing event in which a hosting club invites dancers from all over the world. Usually, the event involves out-of-town callers and lots of social events. A regular fly-in has a name, something built from a pun on a square dancing move. Ours is "Arch & Dive Through." What else could it be? The Gateway Squares hosted a Fly-In over a weekend in March 2006 and drew about 50 dancers from across the U.S. and Canada, with the largest groups coming in from Chicago and Kansas City. Our sister club in Kansas City, the Sho-Me Squares, hosts their fly-in in odd-numbered years, which means our turn is coming up in March of 2008.
Community Dance		This is a dance we host on the first Tuesday of every month, barring major holidays. It's open to any and all square dancers, gay or non-gay, who can dance at the Mainstream level or above. Most of our visitors come as part of "raiding and retrieving." What's raiding and retrieving? It's a system that's meant to keep clubs within a given area dancing with each other. It's a way to encourage mixing, getting to know other dancers, and is pretty crucial to the financial health of every club. Here's how it works. Every club has a collection of banners bearing its logo. When a club hosts a community dance, any other club bringing at least eight dancers can show up and announce that they've come to "raid" the hosting club's banner. If the raiding club has more dancers than any other club that happens to be raiding that night, they get to take the hosting club's banner home with them. The club that got its banner raided can only "retrieve" it by showing up at a subsequent community dance hosted by the club that raided them, and they can only take their banner back if they bring at least eight dancers.
Club Dance		On the third Sunday of every month, there's a dance that's open only to Gateway Squares members, announced visitors from other clubs, and sometimes students as they get close to graduation. This tradition started in the Fall of 2006, with Aaron Wells as our club caller, to supplement to community dances. It gives anyone who wants to come a place where we can all let our hair down, so to speak, and get into styling with great abandon. It's also an important outlet for members who aren't free to be out at work and can't take the chance of running into a co-worker at a community dance.
Special Dances		These are like fly-ins, only on one night. They usually involve out-of-town callers, are built around a theme like the Winter Dance, and draw dancers from our sister club in Kansas City, sometimes even Chicago.
Basic, Mainstream, Plus, Advanced		These are the levels of square dance moves you hear about most often. Here are definitions and even little animated diagrams for Basic, Mainstream, Plus, and Advanced. Our students finish learning Mainstream moves around January/February and graduate as Plus dancers in May. About a dozen dancers in the club have gone as far as Advanced, but the club does host Advanced lessons on Tuesday nights!
Styling		This word refers to flourishes on common moves that you only find in the gay square dancing world. Kicks, spins, twirls, and general body contact are added onto moves like weave the ring, dosado, swing and promenade, grand square, etc. You'll also hear people vocalize during certain moves, like calling out "Quack!" during an acey-duce or "You betcha!" during a spread.
Patter, Singing Call, Tip		"Patter," also known as "hash" is when a caller puts a square through a sequence of moves with music but no singing and generally less styling. Also, at the end of each "figure", or sequence of moves, the girl always ends up where she started. You won't hear certain calls during patter, such as grand square, teacup chain, or weave the ring. In a "singing call," the caller mixes square dancing moves with sung lyrics of a particular song, and at the end of a figure, the girl ends up with the boy to her right. There is styling galore and any move at the level the caller has chosen. A "tip" is a combination of patter and singing call, always in that order, and is the usual unit between which we take breaks.

Get Ready for the Winter Dance!

2007-11-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

John Oldfield of the ChiTown Squares will be coming down to call for our official Winter Dance on Saturday, January 12, 2008.

There's a special session for Advanced dancers from 4:00 to 6:30, then a potluck from 6:30 to 7:30, then Mainstream & Plus dancing from 7:30 to 10.

We'll be squaring up at Trinity Pres, 6800 Washington in UCity, right by COCA.

Here's a link to our official flyer!

New Board Elected

2007-11-18T05:43:00.001-08:00

In October 2007, the Gateway Squares held our annual meeting and elected a new board to lead our club.

Congratulations to new board members Rob Schneider, Frieda Smith, Michael Getty and Doug Soderberg! Congratulations to board members Larry Essman and Michael Schwartz who were re-elected to serve another term!

Also, a huge THANK YOU to outgoing board members Trevor Slom, Mary Thome, Cindy Bechtel, Brian Vetruba, and Sandra Garrison for all of their hard work over the last year (and for some of them, thanks for the hard work over the last several years)! We look forward to the continued success of the club with the new board.

Board meetings are held on the second Wednesday of each month and members are welcome to attend. Locations and times can be found on the calendar of events page.